Life is what happens when you are making other plans...

I am thinking of the saying, "Life is what happens when you are making other plans." How true that is. OK, that's quite an obvious statement, but it really is so true. I just watched Marley and Me, which is about a man and his dog, and it inspired me to wonder aloud why men (at least all the men I've known) have such a hard time accepting and being happy with life when it deters from the plan they made for themselves. So many men I have spoken to have a vision for what they want their life to be - and, of course, reality rarely matches that dream. I never understood why young men seemed so reluctant to be "sidetracked" from their goals - as if life was a sidetrack and would prevent them from accomplishing something else. JJ suggested that it is because men are taught that they must have a plan from a very young age, so it is difficult to let go of that when life happens. This makes great sense to me. Of course, the same can be true for women, but not to the extent that these sorts of expectations are placed on men in our patriarchal culture. Men are taught they must achieve, be something...which really means they must achieve monetary or professional "success." Women, on the other hand, are freer to let life happen - now that we have won our freedom after centuries of being the second sex. So, yes, we still fight for full equality, but on the other hand we are not pressured to achieve the way men are. I guess what I'm saying is that boys are pressured too much while girls have very little expectations placed on them - both situations can be equally harmful. I hope to raise my son (and if I were to have a girl the same would be true) with the notion that he can and probably will "be" several different people throughout his lifetime. That a career does not define him. That money is only a necessity in our culture, not something to be coveted or bragged about. That he is free to love whom he chooses when he chooses - regardless of whether the timing or the person is "right." That his father and I will be his biggest supporters whatever he does. That happiness is possible, and he deserves it. That the world is hard, but life does not have to be. That love is more important than anything else in the universe, and the more you put out there, the more you get back.