Here we go. It's the toddler years...oh boy! It's such a tumultuous time watching my little guy's development accelerate so that he is displaying new skills literally every day, and also challenging us more and more each day as he asserts his will and desire for independence. It's a roller coaster - one minute he is my sweet baby, needing Mommy to hold and soothe him, and the next he is a pissed off kid, throwing himself backwards in fury because I will not allow him to chew on the computer cords. Oy! One thing I know - Gus makes me think about my own behavior and the consequences of my actions more than I ever have. And he makes me want to be a better person. Motherhood has a way of exposing cracks in the the armor of self-assurance and competence that many of us have built around us. The challenge of raising a child provides me with lots of opportunities to doubt and question my knowledge and my abilities, something I don't do often in my other roles. It's humbling. But in the end, as often as I am unsure of the proper response to his behavior, or whether I am doing enough to stimulate his imagination and intellect - in the end, when I see Gus cheer, smile and clap in anticipation of a favorite story or video, or because he accomplished a new feat like putting his plastic shapes into the matching slot, or when he gently pets the cat rather than smacking her in the face and yanking her tail - that is when I breathe a sigh of relief and feel a moment of validation, of pride and of joy that I imagine most parents cherish as much as I.

Hot Fun in the City

While the heat outside has been breaking records, Gus and I have been staying cool and having fun indoors this week. We cannot wait to get back outside to the park, the library, the zoo or just take a neighborhood walkabout. Tomorrow will be the day, especially since JJ will be home and we have plans to go here http://www.krugersfarm.com/ for a concert and picnic dinner. How fun! Meanwhile, Gus has been developing new talents on what seems like an hourly basis. I am fairly confident that a lot of this is due to the Baby Einstein First Signs video we watch once or twice a day together. He LOVES it and has begun using his hands a lot more in just the past few days. A few days ago he discovered pointing - now he points at everything he is interested in, including us, which is cute. We have lots of ET moments.

Just yesterday he began to clap his hands - really well, I might add - and now he does that all day, at whatever he thinks is fun, or just to express himself, I suppose. When he does this, he usually yells something like "nine, nine, nine!" or "aaahhhhhh!" Not sure what those mean.

He hasn't actually begun signing yet - but we think we caught him in some attempts - he does a thing with his chest that looks kind of like the sign for "bath" and a couple of times he looked like he was signing "ball" - but he could have been half-heartedly clapping. Either way - I can see the progress, so I am excited to keep signing with him.

Also in the past week - we got him some bubbles in a container that also doubles as a whistle - so he learned to blow the whistle. Then, I thought he needed to apply that skill to other things - so we broke out JJ's harmonica and he started playing that until Big Mama howled too much (because she always howls to the harmonica) and he got scared and cried. Next up - a kazoo - which we will be picking up tomorrow when we are out and about on JJ's day off. Since Gus already plays the keyboard every day and guitar regularly (not to mention listening to Pandora and dancing with Dad and Mom), I think we are meeting our goal of introducing him to music early.

On another note (teehee), everyone who knows Gus knows he loves books...but he's always been content to read a bit and move on. Not anymore. He has begun to demand the repeat read. This is how it goes: 1. He gets out his Rolie Polie Olie book that I got for him at a children's consignment store, 2. We read it to him while he absorbedly watches our fingers track the words, 3. We reach the end and close the book, 4. He cries until we begin reading it over again. This goes on until he is good and ready to be done...about 6-8 read-throughs.

So, that's what our little man is up to these days. We are having a blast. He is just about ready to start walking - which will require it's own post - I believe. In fact, I would argue that he already took his first steps - but JJ insists it was too much of a "shuffle" to count. He did that last night and then again this morning - standing and stepping side to side, then scooting one foot forward and falling on his butt.

Isn't that just like life sometimes?

Weaning on My Mind

Since my breastfeeding baby boy Augustus is almost 11 months old, I have been thinking (and hearing) a lot about weaning lately. I have always intended to nurse for a year, and now that the time is approaching, I have been worrying over how/why/when to wean. One piece I read in my research claimed that the average age babies are weaned worldwide is three years...whereas in the US it is 6 months - and that's only counting the 20% of babies in the US that are breastfed in the first place.

What I have determined is to take it slow and let Gus set the pace for the most part. I have followed that policy with him throughout his babyhood thus far and it has made for a happy baby and mommy. He naps when he is ready, and eats when he is hungry. We've yet to have any problems with that arrangement - he is a great sleeper ( for which I will be eternally thankful) - and a great nurser as well as a big fan of regular food. Of course, I realize I am lucky to be able to stay home with him and provide him all my time and attention. I am thankful for that - and the sacrifices we have made to do so are more than worth it!

So - we will be nursing for a few months more - depending on how quickly Gus is ready to let go. He makes progress every day with is big boy eating - and uses nursing more as a comfort when he falls asleep or just as he wakes. It's good to see him have more independence and actually choose to eat food over nursing. We always give him bites of our food - as long as it is appropriate for his little tummy and baby taste buds! He has quite a developed palate so far - we might have a little chef on our hands! He has eaten gnocchi and various pastas, falafel, hummus, beans of all types, burger, lots of different breads (his favorite is croissant), varieties of cheese and all kinds of fruits and veggies. He hates sippy cups right now, so we got him a regular plastic cup and he loves drinking out of that - tricky for us - cause we have to hold it and make sure he doesn't overdrink! Sippy cups will keep coming back, and when he is ready to hold them himself without the requite toss onto the floor, I think he'll enjoy them more.

So, between research and instinct - I have made peace with our progress.

On the Move...

Here we go again. We are relocating this month to Oregon after two years in Socal. We are so excited to leave, but also sad to be leaving behind some good friends - people who've made our time here rewarding and fun. We have learned a lot about ourselves, and our relationship, what we want from life and what we don't want. Now we are ready to begin our next journey with our new beautiful baby. Life is good.

Ok, I know this is simply a way for me to procrastinate yet again in getting any real work done....but here I go. Actually I logged on to retrieve some of my previous posts on the books I am reading for my paper so that I could include them in my latest draft, but then I felt the need to write. So, I have been watching American Idol...online. I know many people think reality TV is trash, but I personally get a lot out of it. I love the stories of real people, even if edited for manipulative effect, better than made-up people. And I love singing...so American Idol is great for me. In any case, as I was watching I started thinking about what the show, and certain elements of it, could tell us about American culture. I think this about pretty much everything, since that's my thing. It occurred to me that Paula Abdul is a single women "of a certain age," meaning she's about middle age now, and she is constantly made fun of and demeaned on the show and off. Now, I have seen her do some crazy shit, don't get me wrong. And I saw some of her show, "Hey Paula" (or something like that). So, i know she does some cooky stuff. However...i think a lot of the reason people pick on her is because she is a single, childless, older woman....and as such she is devalued in our culture. First of all, you can't tell me there are not a LOT of stupid men out there doing and saying embarrassing things on TV, but how often do we see them? Except on the Daily Show. Every time Paula says or does anything a little off, it is front page news. Now - a lot of that is because the producers and publicists for AI MAKE SURE it is front page news. They use her to get ratings. However...this "stupid female" trend is all over in the media - think Brooke Hogan, the Miss Teen USA contestant, Sarah Palin...need I say more? You just don't see men's deficient intellects broadcast far and wide the way you do with women. People take such pleasure in women saying "dumb" things. Men, on the other hand, are often seen exercising bad judgement - think Blagojevich and Craig - but rarely blatant silly stupidity. This is NOT because men are never stupid and vacuous....the positioning of females in this light, and near exclusion of men from the same, is deliberate and tells us a lot about people's attitudes and anxieties. If this were Puritan times, Paula Abdul would be exactly the type of woman targeted as a witch...and probably executed. She violates much of what our cultures values in women - motherhood, marriage and homemaking, youth, subltety, and submission in the face of "strong" men. Paula is loud, enthusiastic, brazen, not afraid of her sexuality, strong, even pushy, and tenatious. She is a wild and crazy lady - also driven and ambitious. Some of the things that got Martha Stewart caged while men doing the same or worse than she are never punished. Just some thoughts to chew on about one of the biggest message making artifacts of our present culture, AI, and it's contribution to gender role development.